It’s simple, really.

If the first results are a web search, you wouldn’t notice how terrible the local search indexing is.

Yes, that would do the trick

You’d have to rewrite the history as to never having committed those files in the first place, yes.

And then politely ask all your coworkers to reset their working environments to the “new” head of the branch, same as the old head but not quite.

Chaos ensues. Sirens in the distance wailing.